The Litabug Phlog

I’ve been wanting to write about this. A recent conversation with friends and Laura’s question on the “What About” post brought it back to mind.

I get discouraged sometimes looking at other “mommy blogs” or “crafter blogs” and wonder how these people balance what seems like the load of ten people. So when the question came up about how I balance family, friends, hobbies, kids, etc., I thought it would be a good opportunity to give you all the real scoop.

1. Austin works from home. And yes, he’s crazy busy, but he’s still an extra pair of ears, eyes, and hands to have around during the day. I can leave Sam safe in the room with Daddy and go take care of something Maggie needs (or something I need – like the occasional shower, for Pete’s sake). Yes, these munchkins are hard work! My respect and blessings to mothers who can handle two under 2 without another adult around!

2. We don’t have a car. Yes, this sounds like a disadvantage, and sometimes it is. It means a half hour checkup at the pediatrician requires blocking out hours of time. It’s a 20 minute walk, 10 minute wait, 15 minute bus ride, 5 minute walk, 10 minute wait, 15 minute subway ride, then the same in reverse on the way home, not including the time at the dr’s office and to stop and nurse the baby. But… not having a car also means I can’t just run out to Target or Starbucks or other places I might be tempted to waste time.

3. I rotate my priorities. This is a bad system; I don’t recommend it. I’m just saying it’s what I do. If something urgent is going on at the church during a particular week, my house gets messy and I don’t spend any quality time with Sam. The next week, my house may be clean, but I’ll completely ignore my friends and neglect my husband. Another week I’ll go for walks with the family, call friends and siblings, but end up serving cold cuts at least one meal a day. So over time it looks like I’m accomplishing a lot when really it’s just a cycle!

4. I’m unfocused (more kindly described as a multi-tasker). The other day I realized I was doing 5 things simultaneously (eating breakfast, getting ready, feeding Maggie, planning the day with Austin, and working on a project). This means some of the tasks don’t get done well. Half of what I do right now is done with one hand and a fraction of my attention.

5. I do things the quick and dirty way. Meals are never entirely from scratch (there’s always at least one box or can or frozen bag involved). With craft projects, I usually stick to methods that are familiar enough I could do them in my sleep. If I get the laundry folded and put away, it won’t be in straight little department store stacks. And do I ever fold the underwear? Are you kidding?

I started this blog for two reasons. First, I wanted to stay in touch with family and friends that live far away. Second, I wanted to keep photos and memories in a way that wasn’t as expensive or time-consuming as scrapbooking. But it has also been good for me during some exhausting and challenging times (like having two children in two years) to see the humor in things, to notice and share little joys, and to have something to look back over when I’m discouraged and need perspective.

My point is that I tend to post more about the happy things than the struggles, which isn’t bad, but doesn’t give you the whole picture. I don’t want to do a disservice to my readers (especially other young moms) by pretending to “have it all together,” because I don’t. At all. I just don’t publish all my many failures on the internet because they’re dealt with so much more generously by my husband or by friends in person over a cup of tea.